DAD'S RAMBLINGS -- INNER STRUGGLES

DAD'S RAMBLINGS -- INNER STRUGGLES

"And he said, 'Who are You, Lord?' Then the Lord said, 'I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting. It is hard for you to kick against the goads.' " (Acts 9:5)

The conversion of Saul of Tarsus to become a follower of the Lord Jesus is one of the great stories of Christianity. A man who vehemently hated these followers of Christ, so much so that he persecuted them with much fervor, putting them in jail and killing some, and then to become a powerful Christian preaching the message he once hated. This stands as a great testimony to the power of the Gospel of Christ to transform a life.

It was a tremendous event that caused his conversion – a bright light from heaven knocking him to the ground and causing blindness. And then there was the voice saying, "I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting."

But from what Jesus said – that he was kicking against the goads – it is apparent that there was an even greater inner struggle. Saul was fighting an inner battle that no one else knew about. He was undoubtedly questioning whether what he was doing was right. His conscience was bothering him and he was fighting against it.

Perhaps his mind kept going back to the time when he stood by while Stephen was being stoned. The testimony of Stephen was probably seared in his mind and Stephen's response to the stoning probably made an impact on him. Still, he was so ingrained in the Jewish agenda to quash this heretical movement that he was motivated to destroy these Christians.

The battle was strong. On the one hand, he felt he was doing God's work to keep the Jewish religion pure, while on the other hand he struggled with the message of the Gospel.

I do not know what struggles of the mind people are going through. I do not know the battles they are fighting. The culture and their flesh pull their minds one way, and on the other hand, the Holy Spirit is convicting them of the truth. It is hard to kick against the prods. There is no peace for them. The only way to have inner peace is to stop kicking against the goads and submit to God. There one finds real peace.

Love, Dad